Facts about raising children,英语篇笑话大全

1.Thereisnosuchthingaschildproofingyourhome, 2.Ifyousprayhairsprayondustbunniesandthenrunoverthemwithrollerblades,theycanignite., 3.A4-year-oldsvoiceislouderthan200adultsinacrowdedrestaurant., 4.Ifyouhookadogleashoveraceilingfan,themotorisnotstrongenoughtorotatea42-poundboywearingpoundpuppyunderwearandaSupermancape., 5.Itisstrongenoughtospreadpaintonall4wallsofa20x20ft.room., 6.Baseballsmakemarksonceilings., 7.Whenusingtheceilingfanasabat,youhavetothrowtheballupseveraltimesbeforeyougetahit., 8.Youshouldnotthrowbaseballsupwhentheceilingfanison., 9.Aceilingfancanhitabaseballalongway., "10.Theglassinwindows(evendoublepane)doesntstopabaseballhitbyaceilingfan.", 11.Whenyouhearthetoiletflushandthewords"uh-oh",itisalreadytoolate., 12.BrakefluidmixedwithCloroxmakessmoke--lotsofit., 13.A6-year-oldboycanstartafirewithaflintrockeventhougha60-year-oldmansaysitcanonlybedoneinthemovies., 14.Amagnifyingglasscanstartafire,evenonaovercastday., 15.Ifyouuseawaterbedasahomeplatewhilewearingbaseballshoes,itdoesnotleak,itexplodes., 16.Akingsizedwaterbedholdsenoughwatertofilla2,000sqfthousealmost4inchesdeep., 17.Legoswillpassthroughthedigestivetractofa4yearold., 18.Duploswillnot., 19.Play-Dohandmicrowaveovensshouldneverbeusedinthesamesequence., 20.SuperGlueisforever., "21.MacGyvercanteachusmanythingswedontwanttoknow.", 22.SocanTarzan., "23.NomatterhowmuchJell-Oyouputinthepool,youstillcantwalkonwater.", 24.PoolfiltersdontlikeJell-O., "25.VCRsdonotejectPB&Jsandwiches,eventhoughtheTVcommercialsshowtheydo.", 26.Garbagebagsdonotmakegoodparachutes., 27.Marblesinthegastankmakelotsofnoisewhendriving., "28.Youprobablydontwanttoknowwhatthatodoris.", 29.Alwayslookintheovenbeforeyouturniton., 30.Plastictoysdonotlikeovens., 31.Thetypicalfiredepartmenthasatleasta5-minuteresponsetime., 32.Thespincycleonthewashingmachinedoesnotmakeearthwormsdizzy., 33.Itwill,however,makecatsdizzy., 34.Catsthrowuptwicetheirbodyweightwhendizzy., 35.Agoodsenseofhumorwillgetyouthroughmostproblemsinlife(unfortunately,mostlyinretrospect.)

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