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ItismysaddutytoreportthatthePillsburyDoughboydiedyesterdayofayeastinfectionandcomplicationsfromrepeatedpokestothebelly.Hewas71., Doughboywasburiedinaslightlygreasedcoffin.DozensofcelebritiesturnedoutincludingMrs.Butterworth,HungryJack,BettyCrocker,theHostessTwinkies,CaptainCrunch,BabyRuth,andmanyothers., ThegravesidewaspiledhighwithfloursaslongtimefriendAuntJemimadeliveredtheeulogydescribingDoughboyasamanwho"neverknewhowmuchhewaskneaded.", Doughboyrosequicklyinshowbusinessbuthislaterlifewasfilledwithmanyturnovers.Hewasnotconsideredaverysmartcookie,wastingmuchofhisdoughonhalf-bakedschemes.Still,evenascrustyoldman,hewasarollmodelformillions., DoughboyissurvivedbyhissecondwifePlayDough.Theyhavetwochildrenandoneintheoven.Thefuneralwasheldat3:50for20minutes.

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