MESSTESTSmearpeanutbutteronthesofaandcurtains.Placeafishstickbehindthecouchandleaveitthereallsummer., TOYTESTObtaina55-gallonboxofLegos(oryoumaysubstituteroofingtacks).Haveafriendspreadthemalloverthehouse.Putonablindfold.Trytowalktothebathroomorkitchen.Donotscreambecausethiswouldwakeachildatnight., GROCERYSTORETESTBorrowoneortwosmallanimals(goatsarebest)andtakethemwithyouasyoushop.Alwayskeeptheminsightandpayforanythingtheyeatordamage., DRESSINGTESTObtainonelarge,unhappy,liveoctopus.Stuffintoasmallnetbagmakingsurethatallthearmsstayinside., FEEDINGTESTObtainalargeplasticmilkjug.Fillhalfwaywithwater.Suspendfromtheceilingwithacord.Startthejugswinging.Trytoinsertspoonfulsofsoggycerealintothemouthofthejug,whilepretendingtobeanairplane.Nowdumpthecontentsofthejugonthefloor., NIGHTTESTPreparebyobtainingasmallclothbagandfillitwith8-12poundsofsand.Soakitthoroughlyinwater.At3:00p.m.,begintowaltzandhumwiththebaguntil9:00p.m.Laydownyourbagandsetyouralarmfor10:00p.m.Getup,pickupyourbag,andsingeverysongyouhaveeverheard.Makeupaboutadozenmoreandsingthesetoountil4:00a.m.Setalarmfor5:00a.m.Getupandmakebreakfast.Keepthisupfor5years.Lookcheerful., INGENUITYTESTTakeaneggcarton.Usingapairofscissorsandpotofpaint,turnitintoanalligator.NowtakeatoiletpapertubeandturnitintoanattractiveChristmascandle.Useonlyscotchtapeandapieceoffoil.Last,takeamilkcarton,aping-pongball,andanemptyboxofCocoaPuffs.MakeanexactreplicaoftheEiffelTower., AUTOMOBILETESTForgettheBMWandbuyastationwagon.Buyachocolateicecreamconeandputitintheglovecompartment.Leaveitthere.Getadime.Stickitintothecassetteplayer.Takeafamilysizepackageofchocolatechipcookies.Mashthemintothebackseat.Runagardenrakealongbothsidesofthecar.There,perfect., "PHYSICALTEST(Women)Obtainalargebeanbagchairandattachittothefrontofyourclothes.Leaveittherefor9months.Nowremove10ofthebeans.Andtrynottonoticeyourclosetfullofclothes.Youwontbewearingthemforawhile.", PHYSICALTEST(Men)Gotothenearestdrugstore.Setyourwalletonthecounter.Asktheclerktohelphimself.Nowproceedtothenearestfoodstore.Gototheheadofficeandarrangeforyourpaychecktobedirectlydepositedtothestore.Purchaseanewspaper.Gohomeandreaditquietlyforthelasttime., "FINALASSIGNMENTFindacouplewhoalreadyhaveasmallchild.Lecturethemonhowtheycanimprovetheirdiscipline,patience,tolerance,toilettrainingandchildstablemanners.Suggestmanywaystheycanimprove.Emphasizetothemthattheyshouldneverallowtheirchildrentorunwild.Enjoythisexperience.Itwillbethelasttimeyouwillhavealltheanswers."
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