How to keep a healthy level of insanity,英语篇笑话大全

1)Atlunchtime,sitinyourparkedcarwithsunglassesonandpointahairdryeratpassingcars.Seeiftheyslowdown., "2)Pageyourselfovertheintercom.Dontdisguiseyourvoice.", 3)Insistthatyoure-mailaddressis:Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.comorElvis-the-King@companyname.com., 4)Everytimesomeoneasksyoutodosomething,askiftheywantfrieswiththat., 5)Encourageyourcolleaguestojoinyouinalittlesynchronizedchairdancing., 6)Putyourgarbagecanonyourdeskandlabelit"IN.", 7)Developanunnaturalfearofstaplers., 8)Putdecafinthecoffeemakerfor3weeks.Onceeveryonehasgottenovertheircaffeineaddictions,switchtoespresso., "9)Inthememofieldofallyourchecks,writeforsexualfavors.", 10)Replytoeverythingsomeonesayswith,"That\swhatyouthink.", 11)Finishallyoursentenceswith"Inaccordancewiththeprophecy.", 12)Adjustthetintonyourmonitorsothatthebrightnesslevellightsuptheentireworkarea.Insisttoothersthatyoulikeitthatway., 13)Dontuseanypunctuation, 14)Asoftenaspossible,skipratherthanwalk., 15)Askpeoplewhatsextheyare.Laughhystericallyaftertheyanswer., 16)Specifythatyourdrive-throughorderis"togo.", 17)Singalongattheopera., "18)Gotoapoetryrecitalandaskwhythepoemsdontrhyme.", 19)Findoutwhereyourbossshopsandbuyexactlythesameoutfits.Wearthemonedayafteryourbossdoes.(Thisisespeciallyeffectiveifyourbossisoftheoppositegender.), 20)Sende-mailtotherestofthecompanytotellthemwhatyou\redoing.Forexample,"Ifanyoneneedsme,I\llbeinthebathroom,inStall#3.", 21)Putmosquitonettingaroundyourcubicle.Playatapeofjunglesoundsallday., "22)Fivedaysinadvance,tellyourfriendsyoucantattendtheirpartybecauseyourenotinthemood.", 13)Call911andaskif911isforemergencies., "24)Callthepsychichotlineanddontsayanything.", 25)Haveyourcoworkersaddressyoubyyourwrestlingname,RockHard., 26)WhenthemoneycomesoutoftheATM,scream"IWon!","IWon!""3rdtimethisweek!!!", 27)Whenleavingthezoo,startrunningtowardstheparkinglot,yelling"Runforyourlives,they\reloose!", 28)Tellyourboss,"It\snotthevoicesinmyheadthatbotherme,itsthevoicesinyourheadthatdo.", 29)Tellyourchildrenoverdinner."Duetotheeconomy,wearegoingtohavetoletoneofyougo.", 30)Everytimeyouseeabroom,yell"Honey,yourmotherishere!", Andthefinalwaytokeepahealthylevelofinsanity...., 31)Sendthisjoketoeveryoneinyouraddressbook,eveniftheysentittoyouorhaveaskedyounottosendthemstufflikethis.

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