经典笑话 幽默笑话大全

1.Phoneconversationsareoverin30secondsflat., 2.Noneedtositwhenyoupee., 3.Youknowstuffabouttanks., 4.Afive-dayvacationrequiresonlyonesuitcase., 5.MondayNightFootball., 6.Tools., 7.Yourbathroomlinesare80%shorter., 8.Youcanopenallyourownjars., "9.Oldfriendsdontgiveyoucrapifyouvelostorgainedweight.", "10.Drycleanersandhaircuttersdontrobyoublind.", "11.Whenclickingthroughthechannel,youdonthavetostalloneveryshotofsomeonecrying.", 12.Yourassisneverafactorinajobinterview., 13.Allyourorgasmsarereal., 14.Abeergutdoesnotmakeyouinvisibletotheoppositesex., "15.Guysinhockeymasksdontattackyou.", "16.Youdonthavetolugabagofusefulstuffaroundeverywhereyougo.", 17.YouunderstandwhyStripesisfunny., 18.Youcangotothebathroomwithoutasupportgroup., 19.Yourlastnamestaysput., 20.Youcanleaveahotelbedunmade., "21.Whenyourworkiscriticized,youdonthavetopanicthateveryonesecretlyhatesyou.", 22.Youcankillyourownfood., 23.Thegarageisallyours., 24.Yougetextracreditfortheslightestactofthoughtfulness., 25.YouseethehumorinTermsofEndearment., "26.Nobodysecretlywondersifitssilicon.", 27.Youneverhavetocleanthetoilet., 28.Youcanbeshoweredandreadyin10minutes., 29.Bodybuildingisnatural., 30.Weddingplanstakecareofthemselves., 31.Ifsomeoneforgetstoinviteyoutosomething,heorshecanstillbeyourfriend., 32.Yourunderwearis$10forathreepack., 33.TheNationalCollegeCheerleadingChampionship, 34.Noneofyourco-workershavethepowertomakeyoucry., "35.Youdonthavetoshavebelowyourneck.", "36.Youdonthavetocurlupnexttoahairymaneverynight.", "37.Ifyoure34andsinglenobodynotices.", 38.Youcanwriteyournameinthesnow., 39.Youcangetintoanontrivialpissingcontest., 40.Everythingonyourfacestaysitsoriginalcolor., 41.Chocolateisjustanothersnack., 42.Youcanbepresident., 43.Youcanquietlyenjoyacarridefromthepassengerseat., 44.Flowersfixeverything., "45.Youneverhavetoworryaboutotherpeoplesfeelings.", 46.Yougettothinkaboutsex90%ofyourwakinghours., 47.Youcanwearawhiteshirttoawaterpark., 48.Threepairofshoesismorethanenough., 49.Youcaneatabananainahardwarestore., 50.Youcansayanythingandnotworryaboutwhatpeoplethink., 51.Noneedforhandlotion., "52.MichaelBoltondoesntliveinyouruniverse.", "53.Youdonthavetoeatquiche.", 54.Youcanwhipyourshirtoffonahotday., "55.Youdonthavetocleanyourapartmentifthemeterreaderiscomingby.", "56.YoudonthavetoStayfree.", 57.Carmechanicstellyouthetruth., "58.Youdontgivearatsassifsomeonenoticesyournewhaircut.", 59.Youcanwatchagameinsilencewithyourbuddyforhourswithouteventhinking"Hemustbemadatme"., 60.Theworldisyoururinal., 61.Younevermisconstrueinnocuousstatementstomeanyourloverisabouttoleaveyou., 62.Yougettojumpupandslapstuff., 63.Hotwaxnevercomesnearyourpubicarea., 64.Onemood,allthetime., 65.YoucanadmireClintEastwoodwithoutstarvingyourselftolooklikehim., "66.Youneverhavetodrivetoanothergasstationbecausethisonesjusttooskeevy.", 67.Youknowatleast20waystoopenabeerbottle., 68.Youcansitwithyourkneesapartnomatterwhatyouarewearing., 69.Samework...morepay., 70.Grayhairandwrinklesaddcharacter., "71.Youdonthavetoleavetheroomtomakeanemergencycrotchadjustment.", 72.WeddingDress$2000;Tuxrental$100., "73.Youdontcareifsomeoneistalkingaboutyoubehindyourback.", "74.With400millionspermpershot,youcoulddoubletheearthspopulationin15tries,atleastintheory.", "75.Youdontmoochoffothersdesserts.", "76.Ifyouretainwater,itsinacanteen.", 77.Theremoteisyoursandyoursalone., "78.Peopleneverglanceatyourchestwhenyouretalkingtothem.", "79.ESPNssportscenter.", 80.Youcandropbytoseeafriendwithoutbringingalittlegift., 81.Bachelorpartieswhompassoverbridalshowers., 82.Youhaveanormalandhealthyrelationshipwithyourmother., 83.Youcanbuycondomswithouttheshopkeeperimaginingyounaked., 84.Youneedn\tpretendyou\re"fresheningup"togotothebathroom., "85.Ifyoudontcallyourbuddywhenyousayyouwill,hewonttellyourfriendsyouvechanged.", "86.WhenyougetoldyouhaveRuggedgoodlooks.", "87.Ifyougrowabeardyoudonthavetoworkinasideshow.", 88.Ifanotherguyshowsupatthepartyinthesameoutfit,youmightbecomelifelongbuddies., "89.PrincessDisdeathwasalmostjustanotherobituary.", 90.Theoccasionalwell-renderedbelchispracticallyexpected., "91.Youneverhavetomissasexualopportunitybecauseyourenotinthemood.", 92.Youthinktheideaofpuntingasmalldogisfunny., "93.Ifsomethingmechanicaldidntwork,youcanbashitwithahammerandthrowitacrosstheroom.", "94.Newshoesdontcut,blister,ormangleyourfeet.", 95.Youcanwearyourunderwearuntilitdenigrates., "96.Youdonthavetoremembereveryonesbirthdaysandanniversaries.", 97.YouthinkRichardSimmonsisafruitcake., 98.Yourpalscanbetrustednevertotrapyouwith:"So...noticeanythingdifferent?", 99.Baywatch, 100.Thereisalwaysagameonsomewhere.

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