Corporate Definitions,英语篇笑话大全

BLAMESTORMING:Sittingaroundinagroup,discussingwhyadeadlinewasmissedoraprojectfailed,andwhowasresponsible., SEAGULLMANAGER:Amanagerwhofliesin,makesalotofnoise,crapsoneverything,andthenleaves., CHAINSAWCONSULTANT:Anoutsideexpertbroughtintoreducetheemployeeheadcount,leavingthetopbrasswithcleanhands., CUBEFARM:Anofficefilledwithcubicles., IDEAHAMSTERS:Peoplewhoalwaysseemtohavetheirideageneratorsrunning., "MOUSEPOTATO:Theon-line,wiredgenerationsanswertothecouchpotato.", "PRAIRIEDOGGING:Whensomeoneyellsordropssomethingloudlyinacubefarm,andpeoplesheadspopupoverthewallstoseewhatsgoingon.", SITCOMs:(SingleIncome,TwoChildren,OppressiveMortgage)Whatyuppiesturnintowhentheyhavechildrenandoneofthemstopsworkingtostayhomewiththekids., SQUIRTTHEBIRD:Totransmitasignaltoasatellite., STARTERMARRIAGE:Ashort-livedfirstmarriagethatendsindivorcewithnokids,nopropertyandnoregrets., STRESSPUPPY:Apersonwhoseemstothriveonbeingstressedoutandwhiny., SWIPEDOUT:AnATMorcreditcardthathasbeenrendereduselessbecausethemagneticstripiswornawayfromextensiveuse., TOURISTS:Peoplewhotaketrainingclassesjusttogetavacationfromtheirjobs."Wehadthreeseriousstudentsintheclass;therestwerejusttourists.", TREEWARE:Hackerslangfordocumentationorotherprintedmaterial., "XEROXSUBSIDY:Euphemismforswipingfreephotocopiesfromonesworkplace.", GOINGPOSTAL:Euphemismforbeingtotallystressedout,forlosingit.Makesreferencetotheunfortunatetrackrecordofpostalemployeeswhohavesnappedandgoneonshootingrampages., ALPHAGEEK:Themostknowledgeable,technicallyproficientpersoninanofficeorworkgroup., ASSMOSIS:Theprocessbywhichsomepeopleseemtoabsorbsuccessandadvancementbykissinguptothebossratherthanworkinghard., CHIPS&SALSA:Chips?hardware,Salsa?software."Well,firstwegottafigureoutiftheproblem\sinyourchipsoryoursalsa., FLIGHTRISK:Usedtodescribeemployeeswhoaresuspectedofplanningtoleaveacompanyordepartmentsoon., GOODJOB:A"Get-Out-Of-Debt"Job.Awell-payingjobpeopletakeinordertopayofftheirdebts,onethattheywillquitassoonastheyaresolventagain., "IRRITAINMENT:Entertainmentandmediaspectaclesthatareannoyingbutyoufindyour-selfunabletostopwatchingthem.TheO.J.trialswereaprimeexample.BillClintonsshamefulvideoGrandJurytestimonyisanother.", PERCUSSIVEMAINTENANCE:Thefineartofwhackingtheheckoutofanelectronicdevicetogetittoworkagain., UNINSTALLED:Euphemismforbeingfired.Heardonthevoice-mailofavicepresidentatadownsizingcomputerfirm:"YouhavereachedthenumberofanUninstalledVicePresident.Pleasedialourmainnumberandasktheoperatorforassistance.*(Syn:decruitment.), VULCANNERVEPINCH:Thetaxinghandpositionrequiredtoreachalltheappropriatekeysforcertaincommands.Forinstance,thearmre-bootforaMacIIcomputerinvolvessimultaneouslypressingtheControlkey,theCommandKey,theReturnKey,andthePowerOnkey., YUPPIEFOODSTAMPS:Theubiquitous$20billsspewedoutofATMseverywhere.Oftenusedwhentryingtosplitthebillafterameal,"Weeachowe$8,butallanybody\sgotareyuppiefoodstamps.", SALMONDAY-Theexperienceofspendinganentiredayswimmingupstreamonlytogetscrewedanddieintheend., CLM-CareerLimitingMove-Usedamongmicroserfstodescribeill-advisedactivity.TrashingyourbosswhileheorsheiswithinearshotisaseriousCLM., ADMINISPHERE-Therarefiedorganizationallayersbeginningjustabovetherankandfile.Decisionsthatfallfromtheadminisphereareoftenprofoundlyinappropriateorirrelevanttotheproblemstheyweredesignedtosolve., DILBERTED-Tobeexploitedandoppressedbyyourboss.DerivedfromtheexperiencesofDilbert,thegeek-in-hellcomicstripcharacter."I\vebeendilbertedagain.Theoldmanrevisedthespecsforthefourthtimethisweek."FromtheWorldWideWeberrormessage"404NotFound,"meaningthattherequesteddocumentcouldnotbelocated."Don\tbotheraskinghim...he\s404,man.", GENERICA-FeaturesoftheAmericanlandscapethatareexactlythesamenomatterwhereoneis,suchasfastfoodjoints,stripmalls,subdivisions.Usedasin"WeweresolostingenericathatIforgotwhatcitywewerein.", "OHNOSECOND-ThatminusculefractionoftimeinwhichyourealizethatyouvejustmadeaBIGmistake."

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