Redneck Etiquette,英语篇笑话大全

-RedneckDrivingEtiquette-Dimyourheadlightsforapproachingvehicles,evenifthegunisloadedandthedeerisinsight.Whenapproachingafour-waystop,thevehiclewiththelargesttiresalwayshastherightofway.Nevertowanothercarusingpantyhoseandducttape.Whensendingyourwifedowntheroadwithagascan,itisimpolitetoaskhertobringbackbeer.Neverrelieveyourselffromamovingvehicle,especiallywhendriving.Donotremovetheseatsfromthecarsothatallyourkidscanfitin.Donotlayrubberwhiletravelinginafuneralprocession., "-RedneckPersonalHygiene-Unlikeclothesandshoes,atoothbrushshouldneverbeahand-me-downitem.Ifyouhavetovacuumthebed,itstimetochangethesheets.Whileearsneedtobecleanedregularly,thisisajobthatshouldbedoneinprivateusingonesOWNtruckkeys.Pluckingunwantednosehairistime-consumingwork.Acigarettelighterandasmalltoleranceforpaincanaccomplishthesamegoalandsavehours.Note:Itsagoodideatokeepabucketofwaterhandywhenusingthismethod.", -RedneckDiningOut-Remembertoleaveageneroustipforgoodservice.Afterall,theirmobilehomecostsjustasmuchasyours., "-RedneckEntertaininginYourHome-Acenterpieceforthetableshouldneverbeanythingpreparedbyataxidermist.Donotallowthedogtoeatatthetable...nomatterhowgoodhismannersare.Ifyourdogfallsinlovewithaguestsleg,havethedecencytoleavethemaloneforafewminutes.", -RedneckDating(OutsidetheFamily)-Alwaysoffertobaityourdate\shook,especiallyonthefirstdate.Beaggressive.Letherknowyouareinterested:"I\vebeenwantingtogooutwithyousinceIreadthatstuffonthemen\sbathroomwalltwoyearsago."Ifagirl\snamedoesnotappearregularlyonabathroomwall,watertower,oranoverpass,oddsaregoodthatthedatewillendinfrustration., "-RedneckTheaterEtiquette-Cryingbabiesshouldbetakentothelobbyandpickedupimmediatelyafterthemoviehasended.Refrainfromtalkingtocharactersonthescreen.Testshaveproventheycanthearyou.", -RedneckWeddingEtiquette-Livestockisusuallyapoorchoiceforaweddinggift.Itsisnotokayforthegroomtobringadatetoawedding.Whendancing,neverremoveundergarments,nomatterhowhotitis.Abridalveilmadeofwindowscreenisnotonlycosteffectivebutalsoaprovenflydeterrent.Forthegroom,atleastrentatux.Aleisuresuitwithacummerbundandacleanbowlingshirtcancreateanattyappearance.Thoughuncomfortable,sayyestosocksandshoesforthisspecialoccasion., -RedneckEtiquetteforAllOccasions-Nevertakeabeertoajobintervieworaskiftheypresscharges.Alwaysidentifypeopleinyouryardbeforeshootingatthem.Alwayssay"Excuseme"aftergettingsickinsomeoneelse\scar.It\sconsideredtackytotakeacoolertochurch.Evenifyou\recertainthatyouareincludedinthewill,it\sconsideredtackytodriveaU-Haultothefuneralhome.Thesociallyrefinedneverfishcoinsoutofpublictoilets,especiallyifotherpeoplearearound.Alwaysprovideanalibitothepoliceforfamilymembers.

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