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"Hammer-Inancienttimesahammerwasusedtoinflictpainononesenemies.Modernhammersareusedtoinflictpainononeself.", Screwdriver-Thedrinkorderedatthelocalbarafteryoucallinaprofessionalrepairmantoundothe$500indamageyoudidwhiletryingtochangeoutalightsocketwithyourhandyscrewdriver., PhillipsScrewdriver-Thebardrinkthatyouorderwhenthedamageestimateisover$1,000.Containstwicethevodka., Pliers-Adeviceusedtoextendyourreachthenecessaryfewincheswhenyoudropaone-of-a-kindscrewdownbehindthenewwallittookyoutwoweekstoinstall., "Multi-Pliers-Containahandyassortmentofsharpanddangeroustools.Bestleftinitsleathersheathandwornonahomeownersbelttoincreasetestosteronelevels.", ElectronicStudFinder-Anannoyingdevicethatnevergoesoffwhenyoupointitatyourself., "HalogenLight-Aworklightthatlightsupyourbackyardwiththeincandescenceofafootballstadium,causingyoutocastaheavyshadowovertheareayoureworkingonsothatyouneedtouseaflashlightanyway.", CordlessDrill-Adevicethatlessensyourchanceofelectrocution90%overastandardplug-intool., "CordlessTelephone-Thehandymans911.", "AirCompressor-Amechanicaldevicesimilarinprincipaltoharnessingthepowerofyourmother-in-lawsnaggingcomplaintsandusingtheresultingairflowtoblastoldpaintoffthesideofthehouse.", Chainsaw-Allowsyoutocutyourwayoutoftheshedthatyouaccidentallybuiltcompletelyaroundyourself.
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